Burgundy Bows Are Taking Over Porches (And Why I’m Not Mad About It)
I took my dog for a walk yesterday. It was cold. I was grumpy.
But then I saw it.
Every third house had them. Big, fat, deep red bows. On the mailboxes. On the porch railings. Even on the darn lanterns.
Usually, I hate trends. Remember the “minimalist beige” phase? Boring. But this? This “burgundy bow” thing? It’s actually decent. It looks expensive. It feels cozy.
And best of all? It’s cheap.
If you’re thinking about slapping burgundy bows for mailbox decor up this weekend, read this first. I have some thoughts. And some warnings.
Why Is Everyone Obsessed With This?
It’s the “Old Money” vibe. That’s what the internet kids are calling it.
Bright red looks like a department store. But burgundy? Burgundy looks like you own a library. It looks like you drink expensive wine.
Plus, it pops against snow. If you live where it snows, that deep red velvet looks incredible against the white stuff. If you live in the south, it still looks good against brown grass.
It’s a win-win.
But Will It Survive Tuesday’s Rain?
Here is the problem. Most of these bows are made of cheap velvet.
Real velvet hates water. If it rains, your fancy burgundy bows for mailbox styling will look like a wet rat by Wednesday.
You have two options:
- Buy “Outdoor Velvet”: Yes, it exists. It’s usually plastic-based. It feels fake, but it sheds water.
- Spray It: Get a can of fabric protector. The stuff you use on camping gear. Spray the bow before you hang it.
If you don’t do this, they will sag. And a sagging bow is sadder than no bow at all.
Don’t Burn Your House Down
I’m serious.
I saw a neighbor tie a massive bow around a porch light. Do not do this.
According to safety experts at Oklahoma State University Extension, you must keep combustible decorations away from heat sources. Even LED bulbs get warm. Fabric traps heat.
If you wrap a polyester ribbon around a light fixture, you are asking for trouble. Tie it to the post, not the light.
Also, don’t block your railings. If grandma comes over, she needs to grab the handrail, not a wad of styling christmas porch ribbon. Keep the handrails clear.
Is It Worth The Cash?
You can buy a pre-made bow on Etsy for $40.
That is robbery.
Go to the craft store. Buy a roll of wide, wired ribbon. It costs maybe $12. You can make five bows out of one roll.
Pro Tip: Use a zip tie. Don’t try to tie the knot with the ribbon itself. It’s too thick. Scrunch the ribbon, zip tie the center, and fluff it out. It takes two minutes.
If your mailbox post is rotting and falling over, a bow won’t fix it. You might need to pour some new concrete first. Use our Concrete Calculator to figure out how much mix you need. Fix the post, then add the bow.
Quick Answers (Because I Know You’ll Ask)
How do you attach a bow to a mailbox without wire? Zip ties. They are ugly, so hide them behind the loop of the bow. Or use a pipe cleaner that matches the ribbon color.
Can velvet bows stay outside in the rain? Only if they are synthetic (plastic) velvet or treated with water repellent. Cotton velvet will ruin instantly.
What color ribbon goes best with burgundy? Gold. Always gold. Silver looks cold. Cream looks dirty next to the dark red. Go with gold or dark green.
The Bottom Line
I like this trend. It’s simple. It’s classy. It doesn’t require batteries.
Just make sure you buy the right ribbon. Don’t pay $40 for a bow you can make for $3. And for the love of Pete, don’t tie it to a light bulb.
Now, go fix up your yard.
And if you’re worried about your lawn looking terrible while your mailbox looks fancy, check out this news: Gardeners are urged to pour washing up liquid on their lawns to handle moss patches.
See you out there.
